Have you ever received a call or text from someone near and dear to you telling you that they had a dream about you, and it was something that would significantly alter your life as you know it? Yeah, well, that happened to me. Twice. In the same month. And, both dreams were 100% accurate.
I'll never forget the day that I realized that my period was late. Like, late late. It was very unusual but I was pretty sure that I could not be pregnant. Matter of fact, my hubby and I were discussing having a baby in the near future, and because of my history of severe menstrual cycles and fibrods, I'd recently met with my Lady Doctor for a full-checkup and to discuss steps to take to prepare my body to carry a baby in the near future. Little did I know I was already pregnant at the time of my appointment.
Becoming a Mother was never on my radar. I wasn't the little girl, daydreaming about her wedding day, two kids and a dog. When placing bets with my cousins while in college, I bet that IF I ever had kids, I would be the last to do so in our circle. Not only was I the last of us, my family had pretty much given up all hope of me getting married and having a family of my own. Which I thought was RUDE but let's stay focused.
Most people from my neighborhood only daydream about getting out the 'hood. Few actually do. I was blessed to be one of those kids, and for years I did my best to follow my dreams and become successful. Anything more than that just seemed too far out of my reach. So to prevent a major disappointment, I allowed my fear to prevent me from thinking about such things.
My pregnancy brought about a flood of emotions. Being able to get pregnant was a complete shock. I'd never been pregnant - as many other women I know - no abortions, no miscarriages - bascially, no "accidents". And at my age that was also perplexing to many. My husband (who was my Fiancé at the time) and I had been avoiding the act as much as we could in preparation for marriage while also honoring our spiritual committment to God. Which obviously wasn't easy! So, imagine my disposition when I discovered that I was pregnant. I nearly fainted.
God had already revealed to me that I was pregnant prior to taking the test. The test was simply tangible proof. After it was revealed to me; a 2AM home pregnancy test sent me to wake my husband who took the news surprisingly calm. So calm that I was completely thrown off and didn't know what to do with my emotions! We then sat in his prayer corner and began to pray. I was grieved. He was at peace. I was confused. He was methodical. I was insecure. He was courageous. He was everything that I wasn't and everything that I needed.
After allowing myself time to cry and grieve what I perceived as a mistake because of the timing and disobedience to my committment, I was refreshed, refueled, and able to start using my brain. I remembered those women who desire to become mothers and cannot. I remembered my client who had been trying for years and was finally pregnant via surrogate, at the same time as I was, how she must be feeling, and how blessed I was to carry my own baby. I remembered those women that have suffered multiple miscarriages. I remembered how blessed and lucky I am and how forgiving God is. And I remembered that I was about to marry the love of my life who changed my outlook of being married and becoming a mother. I remembered that I had everything that I needed.
Our celebratory night during NYE 2018 brought us a gift that my husband had fantasized about for years and one that I never knew would bring me such joy: Céline-Élise Mongo. Every ideal and assumption that I had about pregnancy was broken. I loved every moment of being pregnant with Céline. I even miss it sometimes. Not only was she good to my body but she's been such an easy baby. She's strong yet gentle. She's intelligent and expressive. She rarely cries. She's so funny. She's loving and affectionate. She's everything that I didn't know to pray for...
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